It's great to be a bloke because .....
* Your bottom is never a factor in a job interview.
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* You couldn't give a sh#t if someone notices your new haircut or not.
* Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
* Wrinkles add character and grey hair looks distinguished.
* Your orgasms are always real.
* You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
* People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
* Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
* Your mates can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
* You can appreciate great sport.
* You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
* A weekend break requires only one suitcase.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
* You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
* You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
* You can kill your own food.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be our friend.
* If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don't have to clean your house if the electricity meter reader is coming.
* You can sit in silence watching a football game with your friend for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
* You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
* You don't have to shave below your neck.
* Your belly usually hides your big hips.
* You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
* You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* You can "do" your nails with the kitchen scissors.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
* The world is your urinal.
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It's great to be a girl because .....
* We got off the Titanic first.
* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous.
* Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
* We don't need 14 pints to make us admit we love our friends and family.
* We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
* We can cry and get off speeding fines.
* Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
* Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
* We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
* We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
* It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
* No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
* We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
* We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her ass.
* If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
* We can never have too many clothes or too much jewelry.
* If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
* If we're drunk some people will find it cute.
* We can drink nice flavored alco-pops without people calling us wimps.
* We have the ability to dress ourselves.
* We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
* We can spend a fortnights salary in one shopping trip without guilt.
* We can admit we're lost and ask for directions.
* Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
* Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
* We'll never regret piercing our ears.
* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
* We don't have to pretend to understand bizarre sporting rules.
* As long as there is chocolate we have a reason to live.
